...hair today, gone tomorrow...

Kristen, Becky, and I explored two of our fine city's lesser known museums today: The hair museum, and the puppetry arts institute. They were both amazing! I want to learn more about the techniques of hair art...it's so beautiful.
This area has such great museums, and after today I am much more motivated to visit them.

...walkin' in a rainy wonderland...

This time of year is out-of-control! In a good way. I think I have been more socially active in the last week than in the past few months combined...well...that's a bit of an exaggeration I suppose. Lots of friends are in town, and it is also a time for seeing lots of friends who are always in town, just busy people.

This is definitely my favorite time of year mail-wise. Today was...well...like Christmas! We received a package from Josh, Julie, and Morgan, as well as about five more holiday cards. I actually did the thing where you hang the cards you receive around a door frame, or something similar. I think it is required that you do that if you have a house. Mainly I just enjoy looking at the interesting cards people make or pick out.

On non-holiday related tips, I have begun reading "Lonesome Dove," and am about a quarter of the way through it. You should read this book! Last year our friend Dylan read it while he stayed in our apartment, and he left his copy. Then, Jeremy's Dad gave us his hard-bound volume before he moved. It has just been sitting on one of our many bookshelves, silently waiting to be picked up. I found myself perusing the shelves for something new to read, and fixed my eyes on it. It has proven to be an excellent choice.

Otherwise...more people are marrying next year, and popping out children...not us...yet. I am hoping that 2004 will be a year filled with much happiness, and not as much sadness, though I enjoy all of my emotions.

As for weather, since I always seem to have something to say about it, today is grey and rainy. Maybe it is because when we were watching a rainy scene in "Igby Goes Down" last night I was thinking about how nice a good rainy day is sometimes. That, of course, would be assuming that my thoughts had great powers, and the world revolved around me...which as far as I know it does not, thankfully. I do not believe that it is supposed to be a snowy Christmas this year, though I guess one never can tell. I just hope for family, friends, peacefulness, yummy food, and a few presents.

...what has happened to this place...

I just got done reading an article on Salon about the protests that happened in Miami at the end of last week. Man...I really don't know what to say. Is there something fundamentally wrong with the human animal? How can you beat back senior citizens, children, all kinds of people, and actually defend that action, and feel good about it?!
The deal is everyone is different, and should have differing opinions. It can make things difficult, but that's the beauty of free thought. No one is better. When I get pissed is when people don't think for themselves. We align ourselves fully with the thoughts of our government, our party, our work co-horts, whoever! It's not bad to agree, but to blindly chant U.S.A., U.S.A., U.S.A., or to hate someone because you are told to, or to watch T.V. all the time because that's what everyone else is doing...this sucks! Do what you really believe, yet be compassionate along the way.
Ugh.

...weather blog...

More snow! More snow! A couple of days ago the skies opened up and dropped upon us approximately five inches of snow as well as a bunch of sleet before hand. Then, last night, it started again. Pure snow. I ended up spending the night at my sister's house, and when we woke up...snow! The drive home was a teensy scary...slippy-slidey. Once I was back at our house I declared, "No more outings today!" Now it is the perfect Saturday. My belly is full of tomato soup, grilled cheese, and coffee. I can sit inside in warmth and peer out the windows at the still gathering flakes, while sipping on a variety of hot beverages. I love being housebound in the winter! There is so much here I want to do!

...bring it on...

Slowly this morning, I climbed the stairs, trying to balance my cup of juice, glass of water, and bowl of cereal. Placing it all on the table beside the computer, I then plugged in the internet, turned on the computer, and opened up the blinds a tad. I noticed the frost on the window first, then I saw it...snow! Our first snow of the year is only one-half to one inch of accumulation, but it is still snow!

We saw a little bit when we were in Michigan for Thanksgiving, but it came after being there for a couple of days. The trip was very nice. Jeremy and I rolled up Wednesday night, expecting everyone to already be there, having a jolly old time. As we discovered, only Alan arrived before us, and he was at the store when we got there! So, we had a nice chat with him for a couple of hours, and just as he was ready to fall into bed, Josh, Julie, and Morgan arrived. Meade, Lucas, and Liam followed not too long after. The visit was: hiking the dunes on Thanksgiving and being amazed at Morgan's ability, good food and lots of it, competitive scrabble, trivial pursuit, sleeping bag wrestling, talking, talking, talking, Morgan bouncing around and me bouncing around with her, drinking lots of wine, bowling, going to the movies with the boys, very late nights talking, having little Ben- who joined us with his family on Friday-climb into my lap, Jeremy making hot cocoa at one in the morning, just having a good time.

Now it's been back to reality for a couple of days. Ah well. Gotta go work...

...birthday suit...

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband Jeremy! Like a fine wine, he gets better every year (and he was definitely not bad at all to begin with!) Jeremy brings much happiness into my life, and others as well. I don't know what I would do without you sweet potato! I love you!


Last Saturday we paused for lunch at the New York Deli and Bakery, then continued on our walk to Forest Hill Cemetary. This is all only a few blocks from our house, and happens to be the final resting spot of my Mama (Mom's mom), her parents Tola and Herbert, Herbert's parents, his sister and her husband, and Tola's brother and his wife, as well as a future plot for my Daddad...which is a little creepy to look at as he is still very much alive. Anyway, on Sunday was the 15 year anniversary of Mama's passing, so we went to say hello. We ended up walking around the cemetary (which is huge) for over an hour...checking out crazy mausoleums, and interesting tombstones. As we headed for the gates, we noticed that the crows had formed a barrier that we must cross. I got a little nervous, and prepared to offer them something shiny, but they were distracted and took off for some nearby trees. Silly crows.

Saturday night we got to hang out at Scot and Marla's place. It was Scot's birthday, but he failed to tell us that! So...Scot...I'm outing you publically...happy birthday again...late... Anyway, we had a good time, and were the first to arrive and the last to leave. Why, do you ask? Because we are those people.

Sunday was Mary's flute performance. She is getting her PhD in flute, so this was no ordinary, 4th grade concert. It let me see a whole new side of Mary. We enjoyed it a lot.

Today the temperature is in the 70s. Why am I in here typing? Oh yeah...Jer is in the shower, then we are going out. I'm looking forward to these upcoming days as there are many things I get to cook for our two Thanksgiving feast we get to attend...fruit salad, nutloaf, chocolate raspberry birthday cake, Fafa's (my great grandpa Herbert) caramels, Birdie's (my Dad's Mom's mom) swedish pecans, cheddar cheese buttermilk biscuits...drool...plus, soon I will start printing various cards - some to sell and some to send out for the holidays! Yay! I love having things to do. The more I have to do, the better I use my time.

Happy Birthday again, Jer.

...just like josh...


You are the Low-Fidelity All-Star. You were born
with your cool, and it's totally natural. You
run the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they
can ingest as much coffee as you) to the geeky
hipster (Mario Kart, anyone?).


What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

...much more relaxed...

On Friday, since Jeremy didn't have to work, we had a nice little date of slices of Joe's pizza, and seeing Lost In Translation at the Tivoli. It was a very sweet movie, and shot nicely. When we returned home, I treated myself to a nice, warm bath with my new bath salts and the rest of a bottle of white wine to sip. Ahhhh. I feel much better than earlier in the week.

Saturday we not only got the pleasure of hanging out with Kris and Joanna, but we got to babysit 1 1/2 year old Nora for a couple of hours. I just want to make her laugh all the time! She was so much fun to play with, and she talks a lot.

Besides all of this, I have been fairly non-stop working on my easy-cut print blocks for my alphabet cards. I got the material on Thursday, and I haven't been able to keep my hands off of it.

Well, it's just past one a.m. and my hands are chilly...I spy Frank on the futon, so I think I am going to go steal some of his body heat.

...one toe over the edge...

I screamed at a man on the phone this morning...he's with the Mayflower moving company. We got a letter in the mail today that just made a rage brew in me. I wish my screaming could have penetrated the heart of the corporate beast like a sword...be felt throughout the whole body...make it quake and question. Instead I was yelling at an outer scale. I don't feel fully sorry for doing it, though I always feel pretty bad for yelling at anyone.

It brought up lots of issues. I'm partly feeling the sting of realizing my own naivete and stupidity regarding the move, and it sucks having to admit it's not all on somebody else. It also just transported me back to those days of summer, when everything was so right for awhile, and then just got dashed into the ground. I guess I've been suppressing a lot of sadness towards what happened with my dad. I just released it all on Jeremy...poor guy. Then I felt the sudden need to blindly write something down here. I don't really need to talk to anyone specifically, I guess I just need to have something concrete come out of me...something I can look at. Things aren't that bad. I love my husband, myself, our life, our cats, friends, family, our house. Sometimes I need to realize it's okay to embrace sadness, and that it doesn't have to be put in a spot where no one can see it.

So...now I'm realizing other people besides me look at this. Uh...hi...please don't think I'm crazy or depressed. I'm normal...yeah...normal... :)

...just thinking...

My mind today keeps wandering to the painting that presides over my Daddad's living room. I'm scanning over the seaweed covered rocks that shine in the moonlight. The ships look so weathered, like the small town behind them in the distance, but not unhappy. I'm trying to imagine myself on that beach. You would need a thick, wool sweater I think. Everything is moist with salt water...can't escape the smell. A foghorn sounds...there are still some lights on in the town, though it must be past midnight. I can see the moonlight playing on the surface of the water, trying to illuminate further than the first few inches. I'll have to be content with not getting in the water, though I want it to cover me. Too chilly.
I think about how in her last years, Mama must have spent a lot of time looking at this painting. I wonder if she pictured herself wherever it is supposed to be. She saw beauty in that scene...she was the one who picked it out. That painting is like a long, deep sigh.

This whole weekend has been trapped in the painting. It's been days of garlic soup, hearty sweaters, perfectly cured cast-iron pans, fat ceramic mugs of coffee, thick ecru-colored cream, grey, chilly skies, fine mists, sewing by hand, warm cat cuddles, crunchy leaves, seeing your breath, drafty houses...

...grey days...

At first we thought Halloween was going to be a bust. It was already 7:00, and we had yet to have any children come knocking. The door was wide open, I was reading a book on the couch to take my mind off of my excitement. Is there no such thing anymore as kids going around to houses? Do they just go to shops for candy now? What is wrong with the world today - isn't anything sacred? Finally...two kids came! Between 7:30 and 8:00 we had a good rush, and we got rid of all of our candy (thankfully...Jeremy and I still ended up with major sugar hangovers the next day) Witches, a vampire, football player, racecar driver, carebear, princesses, ghosts, and many unidentifiable things graced our porch that night. Woo-hoo...boo!

...skeletons in my closet (actually they're on my front door)...

The day of all days is here! My eyes keep getting drawn back to the large bowl of candy I fixed up this morning - junior mints, shock tarts, reece's peanut butter cups, milk duds, gumballs...drool...Must take my mind off of sweet, sweet candy...must not become diabetic...

So instead I am focusing on sounds today. The tornado siren-like squeal of the dryer, the rustle of embroidery thread repeatedly being pulled through linen, pops of old wood floors, the wet hiss of the coffee pot, and the giant BOOM of a transformer blowing this morning that tore me from my dream world. The power was only gone an hour or so.

Tonight we do the dance of passing out candy to kids. Jeremy and I discussed the various approaches to doing this, and I believe my way won out - mainly because I say so. He thinks the kids should be allowed to take their own candy from the bowl. While I remember this being a wonderful thing when I was a kid, now I can only see little, sticky fingers shoveling as much candy as they can into their bag. I'm for passing out one or two pieces per kid, and I get to randomly decide what those pieces shall be. You can trade up later kid...I'm not taking requests. Jeremy thinks this is another attempt of mine to take kids down a notch. Hey...I just want to make sure everyone gets a piece of the pie...er...I mean candy.

...stranded at the drive-in...

We tossed an armload of blankets and pillows in the car, and took off Saturday night to meet Christine, Evan, Liz, and Hillary for a double-feature at the drive-in. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is very frightening when viewed in your own car, surrounded by night, and having to go to the bathroom, but not wanting to go anywhere by yourself after that flick. We survived though. I pulled the blanket up over my eyes a couple of times...of course it is a loosely crocheted blanket, so I could still see anyway. Kill Bill Vol. 1 was the next movie. Very good again, but quite violent. I love the way Tarantino matches up music to what is happening in the film.

Sunday... I don't know what I did to deserve this, but Jer made french toast and fake bacon for our very late breakfast. Yummmm. Then we just lazed around with the various visitors that called on us, until Jer had to go to work. Fantastic.

...till next year...

The party is over. At least, the birthday party, not the party that is everyday of my life! (ha.) A quarter of a century does not feel that different than last year, at least so far. We'll see what is in store for this one...

The sun is still shining, and the leaves are still breaking delicately beneath my feet. Halloween is not far away, and thankfully we have not eaten all of the candy...well...I had to buy another bag or two that we haven't opened, but we never finished off the original one! My head is overflowing with things I want to work on in studio, strangers are calling Jer to have their pianos tuned, and the cats are still rearranging the rugs every night.

...what's goin' on...

A cold rain is falling outside, and the sun is almost gone for the day. Jeremy is already at work for the night. I am currently reading "My Invented Country" by Isabel Allende and "Stupid White Men" by Michael Moore. This morning I started my "Sweatin' to the Oldies" workout. Richard Simmons is pretty fun. I've been working on art and cleaning the house. my birthday is tuesday shhhh...Tonight I am going to watch Friends and ER. Tomorrow I am going to make Morrocan carrot spread, onion dip, and hummus for an upcoming shin-dig. I have begun to master medium-level spider solitaire. I need to write some letters.

...who knew...

I dropped my car off this morning for an oil change, etc., and, thankfully, had to walk home. It's only about a ten-minute walk, but in that time I learned lots about Gregory (the street) that I had never known just driving on it.
A few trees have some bluish-white mossy spots on them. They come right after the tree that has seaweed-like pods hanging from it. I am not sure if these have the same delicious sounding/feeling pop-hiss to them as the seaweed does, but they looked like it. There was also a stretch of trees that not only has regular, dark green leaves on it, but light green ones curled down like little tongues waiting to lick those who walk under it's branches. The tongues cradled some sort of berry, most likely not edible.
I think in our neighborhood that the plants are ready to take over. If only people would leave them alone! The sidewalks are already severely buckled in some parts, with plants sneaking their way out of every crevice. Lots of people have ivy creeping up their houses or fully engulfing their chimneys. If we all disappeared, it would not take very long for the ferns, trees, flowers, ivy, all of them, to claim everything as their own. They silently pass the time...waiting for the long moments of their uprising...lucky plants...

...heavy whipping cream...

Now you can witness how truly flip-floppy I am...going from serious thought to...

I just wandered downstairs for a brief interlude and found Bones, our resident heat monkey, sitting in front of the air vent in the dining room, lapping up the waves of warm air.

I'm seriously considering heating up a sticky bun my mother bought for me even though it is practically midnight.

Conan is coming on t.v. (that sounds a bit crude...sorry) and I find him highly amusing...in fact so much that I am going to say, goodnight.

...how does this happen...

Do you ever zoom out from your life and realize how ridiculous so many things are with it, and with the world in general? Here I am...I own a house with my best friend and partner, I currently have no income because my husband is making money and I am a semi-privelaged person, I have lots of things...in fact I have so many that I get rid of tons of clothing, paper, whatever each year, I never miss a meal unless I choose to, I have never had an act of physical violence done against me, I went to college - to art shcool none the less, I have traveled all over the place...
I am so lucky. How did I get this place in the scheme of things, yet other people have none of what I do? Did I do something really good in a past life, or am I destined to do not as well in the next one? Does God or whatever there is just like some people better for no good reason? And why am I not doing more with what I have to help those who have not?...is it even "better" to be the one who has?...what is the perfect existence, when you have what you need - food, shelter, love, good health, a whole range of emotions - and not too many things to bog you down - jobs, obligations, guilt, wants, and you know of no one else who needs anything? Does that exist?
I have had times throughout my life so far where I fight harder than usual for basic rights for all, for justice, for universal happiness, for something - anything...then...life sucks me back in and it is easy to forget other people. I walk down the street with a veil. We think it is so horrible that Muslim women are forced to fully cover in public, but we are a society that is still covered ourselves, and we like it! You just can't see ours and it is self-imposed.
It's so easy to sit here - in my jeans, t-shirt, and cowboy boots - and type on my computer, and drink my fresh water, and expound upon what is wrong with the world. What are my solutions? This is the toughy...I don't know. I guess I will try to be a good person and not use too much of anything, though that's easier said than done for the lifestyle we have become accustomed to. I will raise any children I have to please, please, please question things, and want to drink up any books, magazines, newspapers, people, dances, songs, art, animals, vistas, whatever that they come across, and to help, and love, and do something as long as they fully embrace it and believe in it. I will do what I can before I burn (not in Hell, I don't believe in it...in actual flames...I want to be cremated) and try not to feel too guilty for what I cannot do. That is very hard.
For now...universe...ever expanding (or is it actually shrinking?)...I love you, whatever happens, whether you take it all away or give me more (I really don't need more)...thank you for it all...please give other people breaks...please do something to equalize us all - or is that for us to figure out?

...i'm falling...

It's almost my birthday month! Yes, I declare the entire month of October as my own. This is absolutely my favorite time of year. I love that I can still wear summery clothes most of the time, but that at night I need to put on a sweater. Soups, chilis, stews and such are much tastier in the fall. Halloween is by far the best holiday, and this year we get to super decorate for it, and we should actually have kids that want to trick-or-treat at our place!

Today the first leaves started to fall from the trees, and I noticed at the tip tops of some that the leaves had turned. Fall makes me a little melancholy (spelling? one l right?) I know death and hibernation are coming for nearly everything. It's a chance to reflect and release things and hope to survive to be reborn in spring. I really like this aspect of fall. This is kind of a central theme to my life...my name actually means "of the resurrection." I love the image of the phoenix, periodically going up in flames only to come back again to repeat the whole process. I suppose lots of people can relate to that, so I'm not saying it's a unique thing to me by any means. Hmmm. Enough reflection...let's go drink some warm apple cider...and eat donuts...mmm...donuts.

...chester drawers...

Jeremy and I picked up a handy piece of my old furniture from my Ma's that is perfect for stashing socks, t-shirts, underwear and such. In order to do that though, I had to clear out the memories: cards for every holiday, elementary writings and yearbooks, stacks of notes illegally passed in class, old photos and objects that were once so important. Luckily I could part with a paper sacks worth of stuff, so I have less to find a new home for. Sometimes I wish I was a minimalist.

...saturday, in the park, blah blah blah rest of the lyrics...

Everything today is wet. There is a mist outside that makes all the plants want to give off their best shade of green before they begin to turn. Our neighborhood is dripping with huge trees, flowers, long grass, and vines overtaking whatever stands still for awhile.
No one seems to be awake today. I know other people are somewhere in town, because I saw them at the farmer's market not too long ago. 70th Terrace is quiet. Anyone with sense is still in bed, excited that quilts have needed to return.
This is when I listen...no need to talk except for the occassional exchange with a kitty. The cicadas died out with the hot weather, so now all of the other insects can be heard singing their pleas for mates. They mix in with the questioning purrs of Bones, the wood floors creaking under delicate cat paws and me shifting in my chair, the constant hum of the computer and click clicky of keys, fingers rubbing on a ceramic bowl, green tea juicily slurping into my mouth, and the distant sounds of what few cars seem to be out there this morning, but I have yet to see from my window.

...whatever happens...

I wish there was some sort of vaccum that could suck all of the snot from my head, yet not touch my brain. I would appreciate that right about...now.

My Mom was adopted by an almost all black cat. Just in time for Halloween! She named him Spooky. The fact that she took him in is very funny considering all of my life she has not enjoyed cats. Spooky worked his magic on her though, and they are great companions. He is very sweet and declawed, and she has something to talk baby talk to and to calm her down a bit.

We are working on moving Rick to Kansas City soon. I'm pretty excited. I like having family near by (well...yeah, yeah I do) and he can meet my family, and check out all the things we love about Kansas City, and I'm sure find things that we don't even know about!

The other day we were making our way through the Westport Art Fair when we realized, "Oh! We're right by Murray's Ice Cream Shop! How odd...I almost forgot it was there!" Murray's is only the best ice cream in town. No flavors felt right until my eyes fell upon the name *Pink Grapefruit Champagne Sorbet* Mmmm...delicious. I think it was the most satisfying frozen experience I have had all summer.

...open up and say ahhh...

The rains have been sent to us! I'm sitting up here in our cozy little tv room, typing away, drinking strong coffee, and watching the puddles in our neighbor's patio chairs grow larger by the second. When the rain first started a day or two ago you could almost hear the grass and other plants collectively gulp. My favorite thing though is the fact that in our kitchen the rain sounds like popcorn exploding as it hits the stove exhaust pipe on the roof!

...hide your sons and daughters...

Yowzer, we are back on line! It wasn't too bad being away. I could do it again easily. We just got back at 2:30 this morning from Detroit where we had to bid adieu to Joan and Rachel. Even though it was an extremely short visit, we had a fantastic time. Jer and I got to have Rachel to ourselves for a good portion of a day...she is just the coolest. I am so happy that Rachel is in my life. Joan made a really yummy meal of veg sheppard's pie and green beans with shitakes. Mmmm. Jer and I had a good breakfast with just Joan that was fun. I love my in-laws!

Our stuff arrived less than a week ago. I immediately set up the kitchen, as it is a very important room for me, and am now focusing on my studio. Life is good.

It's very weird to drive almost everywhere. Not that I have been wanting to walk in the 105 degree heat, but I'm missing out on all the little stuff you get to notice while strolling around town. There are other things though...we had about 15 peace lillies (our friend Matt told us they were actually surprise lillies) surface in our back yard. My Daddad has some too that were transferred years ago from my great-grandfather's garden. I think I am going to take some of those bulbs this fall. We have a chorus of crickets in our basement that sing us to sleep - Bones caught one and ate it with a sickening crunch! We have lots of spiders patrolling the premises making sure that no corner goes un-woven. There is an organic farmer's market about a mile away from us on Saturday mornings! Everything is coming together.

...how prophetic...

Well...what a couple of weeks it has been. I was not really prepared for any of it...during the evening of Monday, July 21st, my father passed away unexpectedly in a sense. That night...I can't even really talk about that night. The next morning everything got picked up...taken away so quickly...then we ate our final slice of Aniello's pizza, shoved everything in the car including the cats as loud, electric pops of thunder started breaking loose. I hopped behind the wheel and we had one of the scariest drives to Pennsylvania (due to horrible storms) that I have ever experienced. Everything happened so fast...when we arrived in town on Thursday, I immediately went to a meeting at the place where the memorial was going occur. As of today, our belongings have still not arrived and are not scheduled to for another week and a half! Never use Mayflower!

My father...this is all I want to say about him...he was a lot of things, but the things I have been remembering the most is his love for us, and really for life around him. I've been learning even more about him having to go through his belongings. I've found the rolls of photos taken solely of the television during the moon landing, slides he took himself of celestial things through the telescope that he built, letters he wrote defending his work and actions when employers accussed him of things like not doing stuff in a timely manner, etc., stuff about the Registar system that he developed, his slide rule, his bowling ball, his old camera, his shoe shine kit, so many papers with equation after equation...notes...
I really wish I could have been here...
I can't really talk about it anymore, so I'm not going to.


So...yeah...our stuff is not here, but the house is! It's a good house. Kansas City is certainly here and real. Everything slipped into place so perfectly - driving, visiting friends and family, knowing where to get anything. Whenever I have thought about New York it has seemed not real. We lived a similar life there in many senses, but in others it was so different! No one here really knows that life we had, and we have been so busy that Jeremy and I have not really discussed it much. New York worked it's way into my body, and I'm not sure I want to let it go. I guess I do not have to, as we are planning to return many times. Kansas City is great...the cicadas are busy talking all day and part of the night, Jeremy bought a truck that is a fraternal twin to the one he had to give up before we moved to Brooklyn, and I can hop over to my Mom's, Daddad's, sister's, etc. whenever I want. New York...what are you up to? I'm picturing right now what is likely happening on 14th Street, on 5th avenue, at the Dia, on 23rd Street, in the East Village, at the Buncher's, on Fire Island, at the co-op, in the subway...what a different entity New York is...not better than anywhere else, every place is wonderful in some way...just...I don't know. Well...I need breakfast

I still don't have regular computer access for another two weeks or so (by the time we hook up internet.)
Hoping whoever is out there is well...please tell me you are well.

...last call...

Our internet is being taken away from us today. Think of it...no connection by that means for probably two weeks...shudder. I can't believe how tied in with it I am. I didn't even get email until I was in college! It will be okay...I can focus on other things...like how we are getting cell phones! (They still have not arrived...it was a whole drama yesterday that ended with Jeremy telling them not to call us until they are ready to say that 2 cell phones will be here by Tuesday...they called, so we will see) That, I am still not too sure about how I feel. Jeremy's is for his work, which makes sense, but mine is not so much for that purpose. Definitely don't want to make it my primary phone, no no no! I'm sure I'll enjoy it, but I'm the person who still talks into them funny, like I don't trust that the people can hear me if the mouthpiece is halfway up my cheek. I've seriously only talked on one three times. Anyway...technology...bah!

New York...who knew a Kansas City girl could fall in love. Don't get me wrong...I am VERY excited to be moving back, but I love my neighborhood here, and riding subways, and walking around trying to figure out who it would be okay to make eye contact with, and being able to have any type of food I want at most likely any hour, and most of all different family and friends. I know we are coming back for visits every year-ish, but...sigh. Alright, it's list time...all New York lists...

Famous People I Saw (or almost saw) While Living Here:
Jacques Torres
John Waters
Lou Reed
Laurie Anderson
Duff
Pauly Shore (Heather and I were walking and she saw him sitting, but I was spacing off and totally missed everything)
Rachel Dratsch
Robert Whitman
Chuck Close
Jo Baer
uhhh...alright, I'm tired of this list

All Time Favorite Experiences In New York:

Zoe greeting me every time I come in or out of our building, sitting on the beach at Fire Island with the sky all gray and a fine salt mist devouring me, walking to the co-op especially on Saturdays, going out to Mexican food with Juhanni, Rebecca, Chris, and Carlin, this one lunch - a long time ago- with Adam and Angela...it was a Saturday, Indian food, and then a great stroll down 1st ave..., hanging out with Lola in Union Square almost every day, going to the Comic and Cartoon museum with Johnny, having Heather over for making-dinner-watching-Sunday-cartoons nights while she still lived here, chatting with Corrie up in the Dia cafe, getting to see Dust Dive twice, long talks with Nancy and Richard upstairs, meeting and getting to know Adam K, when Lola's family would give me a ride home...never boring!, shutting the door in Luis's face, that special corner on our block where you can spy on the Statue of Liberty, Ukranian Borchst...any Monday I want, dinner at Bea's - telling stories, Joan's birthday party, our wedding reception at Guru!, spending time with Rick, dinner at Peter and Joanne's, fourth of July this year, hanging out with Arno and Susie, all the things I noticed walking around town, the subway stop for The Natural History Museum, having Josh, Julie and Morgan visit, riding on the ottomans with Christine at work, dancing in the office at work, bringing home lots of good food from the co-op, sitting on the stoop and having people stopping to talk, flying over New York knowing we are about to touch down, those little tile faces I've been seeing around, running into Jeremy by surprise on the subway, riding the Wonder Wheel with an absolutely terrified Jer (hey...he suggested it!), our anniversary...brunch at Sidewalk-walking around the East Village, ...too much more to list.

Lot's is going to happen in those two weeks...Rachel turns 14, driving with two kitty boys to K.C., our fridge gets delivered (it's stainless steel with a freezer on the bottom...pretty), I visit my Dad in the nursing home for the first time...Here's to everything that has already occurred and to the unknown, may it be as fun, mysterious, heart tearing, frustrating, lovely, wild, boring, tiring, and inspiring as all that already is.
Safe travels to everyone...and love!

...keep me...

The day has only just started and I don't want to pack! La, la, la! Let's just eat bowls of sweetened corn puffs and forget all that we have to do.

...it's getting hot in here...

Last night we met up with Adam to go have a little dinner, then head to the Cutting Room where his friend Adam Dugas was singing a few songs, including his version of Nelly's It's Getting Hot in Here! Also performing were The World Famous Pontani Sisters. Glittery costumes, huge smiles, fake eyelashes, old fashioned dance moves...bringing back the burlesque atmosphere! It was the best show I have seen in a long time. Plus, there was Dana Pontani (singing), the Fisherman Xylophonic Burlesque Orchestra (awesome! the xylophone guy wears a fez!), Jo Boobs ( does not show it all, but can twirl her tassels well), and Oh De Twirlette. Yay!

...stunted...

Wouldn't you know that the urge to just sit down and super focus on art would come at the most inopportune time? There are boxes to pack, jobs to finish, people to say goodbye to, streets to walk on one more time before moving, things to eat that you just can't find elsewhere, etc. No rest for the wicked.

I also have a sudden need to look at things that are already packed, such as certain books. It is hard to believe that the time is so near. Sigh. I love our house we are moving to, and I love Kansas City, but...I love New York now too. Even though I like to complain about the city often (hey...from what I can tell most New Yorkers do) it's really grown on me. Thankfully, we have many reasons to visit: Adam, Angela, Bea, Judie, Brian, Joanne, Peter, Adam K., Nancy, Christine, Corrie...

Jeremy just called me blog horn leg horn! He makes everything better!

...burn a dollar...

Jeremy and I are not huge supporters of July 4th, but we do enjoy fireworks. Fortunately, his cousin (actually first cousin once removed) Susan was in town from Nepal, so we were able to enjoy them from the balcony of May's old apartment. It was good to see Susie. She always is fun to talk with. Her friend Viva, who is her neighbor in Nepal, was also in town. By the time the fireworks came, Francis from across the hall was over, and their friend Azalia was there as well.

I could not believe the display that New York has! We could actually see two different ones from our vantage point, but one was far superior as we could see all three parts of it. The view from May's bedroom was even more spectacular. I had a hard time deciding which view I preferred. On the balconey, you felt more a part of the whole city and could hear the collective ahhing and clapping of millions of people. We had been watching, as dusk grew, people gathering on the rooftops of the surrounding buildings. After dark, we could only see them in the flashes from the fireworks and hear that they were there, and very much alive. At one point a small boy yelled out, "I wish this was every night!" I think many people replied to him, "Me too!" The fireworks were like neurons, and petri dish growth, and flowers, and things from every part of nature come to life in an extra huge version of gold, violet, red, blue, white, green, orange explosion! I was fighting back tears at how something so simple can be so beautiful. It brought lots of memories, especially from when I was a kid, to the surface. If you were to have asked me at that moment, I probably would have told you my childhood was terrific, because I could only remember those sticky, summer nights where bug repellent, barbeque smoke, and fresh cut grass are wrestling to have the largest smell. Fireflies are creating there own light display every night, and don't seem to mind being caught every once in a while. You can stay up later, because the sun doesn't ever want to set, and there is no worry of having to go to school the next day. There are more excuses than ever to eat candy, drink soda, and nosh on things all day long. That's exactly what we did at Suzie's! Mmm...cookies, grapes, Coke, hummus, potato chips...I wish we could have stayed in that moment longer, but...it's good to know that there are so many moments in time where I feel that...I don't want to leave or ever have it end. Luckily, I try not to have much space at all in between those times. Those are the times when I don't worry about anything, and I don't get so frustrated that I proclaim, "Ugh! I can't stand people!" There probably needs to be less of that in everyone's life.

...family matters...

We finally downloaded Powerpoint so that we could look at the cd of family photographs and stories that we got from Rick, via Arno (Jeremy's second cousin I believe) It is an extremely long slideshow, but you just don't want to stop! I'm interested in any person's photograph collection, but this was extra good because it's Jeremy's family. I think there is somewhere around six to seven hundred photographs spanning from 1900 to 2002/3! Arno had, and still has, a huge task ahead of him, and the end result is great!!! I think this is how I may want to organize all of the stuff for my family...we'll see.

...now i'm a believer...

So, I am really no longer going to doubt Johnny. For months he has been saying he was just going to show up one day in Brooklyn. All last week he kept telling us, "See you on Friday!" Didn't believe him. So...Friday after work I headed on over to Peter and Joanne's for dinner with them, Bea, Dollar Bill (Jeremy's cousin) and Jer. I'm enjoying the conversation, eating cheese and crackers when who should come sauntering in with Jeremy...Johnny! That old trickster! We had a good night - Thai food, fantastic hospitality, talking, etc.
After leaving Peter and Joanne's, the three of us headed back to Brooklyn to go to the bar Freddie's where Brian and Laura's band, Dust Dive, was playing for Brian's birthday. Their music is...sigh...beautiful. It breaks my heart. Then it was home, home, home...late.

Saturday Johnny and I decided to adventure since Jeremy was at work. We had lunch at Daisy's diner then decided that this was where we needed to head. This museum is actually a room, and not much more. After entering a non-descript building on Union Square East and finding "suite" 600, we walked into a room of people whose heads all turned as they proclaimed, "Wow! Real visitors!" We were given the grand tour and had it explained to us that they rent out their space for various groups to meet in. We had interrupted the Star Wars fan club of New York meeting! There were no hipsters in sight, and we even had one guy say, "I am the comic book guy." They all cleared out soon after and we could actually get to the walls, which featured work from the book "Broad Appeal" - all cartoons by women artists. As we were talking to our tour guide once again, another worker (ponytail, pale skin, black clothes) came out with a stack of papers and said,"What, praytell, shall I do with these?" Wow. It was a good time, and I highly recommend supporting them if you ever find your way to New York.
I'm going to sum up the rest of the day/night quickly - we left, called Bill, walked many blocks in the rain laughing, got to the Dia, caught a cab to Guru for dinner with Jer, walked around the East Village, had a sticker booth picture made of us with a Zapatista frame, met up with Judie and Bill at Gem Spa, Judie left and Bill came with us to Brooklyn, partied late into the night with beverages and such, Bill threw down some rhymes, lots of stories and laughing, we tossed Bill into a cab about 1:30, I crashed, the others crashed, Bea called us at 6:00 a.m. freaking out wondering where Bill was (he had slept in the lobby apparently.) Then it was time for work...

Sunday passed as it usually does...no need to go into it.
Monday we bid farewell to Johnny (we miss you buddy!) and hello to furniture and art that Rick passed on to us. This was the last time I get to see Rick before he moves to South Carolina. I don't know when I will see him next...this is sad. I have become close to Jeremy's family here, and it is hard to move away, and have them move away. I guess these things must be done. Good luck with your train trip, Rick, as well as settlin' in to a new place.

I'm exhausted by all of these words.

...ha ha...

I just fixed the Wilders link. You probably don't care...

audblog audio post

...damn...

For some reason The Wilders link does not seem to be working, even though it is a real website. Damn. So, you should go to www.wilderscountry.com on your own. They deserve it.

...ah yes, the where...

I am going to use the cool link-y thing that Julie showed me so long ago. Besides getting to do fun things like hand over large cashier's checks in exchange for land that long ago was just that...land, and hang out with good people, last week I attended the Surface Design Association conference. I attended lectures, panel discussions, and gallery shows - all pertaining to the fiber arts. I also went to the opening dinner where who else should be playing but The Wilders who played at our wedding! It wasn't too surprising considering that Phil of The Wilders works for the Art Institute where this grand conference was being held. Anyway, it was great to see them, but most of all to hear them! They are good people.
So, I had a very packed week...I missed my husband though. I wish we could have been in the same place! Well...sometimes it just can't work out.

Here are a couple of other links I just feel like throwing in for the heck of it: Nest magazine -so cool. I will be getting a subscription now that I have a permanent address. Our friend Adam and if you are really cool you can visit his blog. Here's one more little tidbit...did you know that Springfield, Missouri is the birthplace of the way most people enjoy cashew chicken? I was doubtful at first...the information came from our friend Johnny who has been known to stretch the truth...then again, he knows many things...Anyway, we did a google search and lordy it is true! Save us all.

...pulling the strings together...

Lately I have been feeling a little like the miniature hot air balloons my Dad used to make in college out of paper bags and candles...the ability to go far - soar high, but delicate...I might catch fire at any moment. It has been constant going, going, going...but when is it never? I've been a bit of a complainicus I must say - Jeremy hears most of it, a little on edge, a little more manic songstressing, yet...I am happy for so many reasons.

Here are my reasons to celebrate today: the sudden tan-ness of my arms, Frank leaning his pink nose into the waves of the song coming from my mouth, a sweaty jar of Coke leaving rings on the beat-up desk, picking out paint colors for the house...brazilian blue, artichoke heart, laguna yellow, burnt cumin..., little kisses that cover your face, the hot sauce burn of Tapatio on my lips, wearing flip flops, seeing the cycle of life displayed in the gutter even though it was extremely sad, music that you can't sit still through, and...last but not least...it's Rick's birthday! A real reason to celebrate! Happy Birthday Rick! I just realized today that next Monday will be the first time I will have seen him in awhile, and the last time I will for x amount of time considering he leaves for South Carolina in a little over a week. Everyone is on the go...I hope none of you catch on fire before you land.

...little...

The day after tomorrow I am heading back West. I get to visit with family and friends, attend a cool textile conference, celebrate my sister's birthday, and close on our HOUSE! I'm sure people are sick of hearing about it...then again, I'm not sure how many people actually read this. Ah well. I can't wait to get my hands on paint samples and start going nuts on the house...joy.

Last Saturday I volunteered, for some odd reason, to go up to Beacon, New York, and work at the Dia's new art space up there. It is huge and very busy. It wasn't very hard work, but I had to get up early in order to make it there in time (it's an 80 min. train ride from Grand Central) and by the end of the day I really wanted to just quit seeing people. The train ride was...fantastic. Hanging around all day was the kind of mist that refuses to burn off. The telephone wires dipped like curvy sheet music alongside the water. I saw places that would have been my secret spots when I was a kid. It made me wonder why people live in the city when this is so close by...New York does have it's good points and it's own brand of beauty, but...man, that train ride was great.

...my precious saturday...

The coffee pot exhaled like a sighing dragon, moist and whistful. My knife paused at the outer flesh of the strawberry, then with a little bit of effort, cut it's way through stopping at my thumb. A cat's hungry meow wanting approval to begin eating. Sweat shirt sleeves pushed up to my elbows revealing wrists that have gotten a little more slender lately; the natural shedding of winter pounds. Cold water poured into a freshly cleaned mason jar. Brown sugar and half-and-half mingling in the base of a big, ceramic mug before the introduction of strong coffee. Hair pulled into a sensible ponytail, my part is a little crooked. He always says these shoes are more like expensive slippers, but I could not resist their shade of blue and excellent craftsmanship. My jeans gather at my ankles, and my t-shirt is almost too thin to decently wear in public. First take that water out and place it up, away from curious, delicate cat paws. Then the cereal bowl and coffee. I place everything on the table, turn on a movie, sink into the couch, slip off my shoes and enjoy my Saturday.

...keep those fingers crossed...

This WILL go through, this WILL go though, this WILL go through...That is what I keep chanting. If it works, then we will own a beautiful house in Kansas City in a couple of weeks! I am so not kidding. It has wood floors, a cool fire place with fancy brick patterns around it, a built in niche above for displaying whatever one feels like, plaster walls, 4 bedrooms (one of which will be my studio!), lots of light, a quiet street within walking distance of many cool things - Brookside shopping area, SRO video (coolest local video store ever), our favorite Indian restaraunt Taj Mahal, our good friend Johnny, a little artist co-op store, a good coffee shop, etc., enough space and light for a veggie garden, and so much more! I have not even seen it yet! I have seen pictures on the web, but Jeremy has seen it in real life, and I completely trust his judgement. This is sooo much fun! I still cannot believe that everything is happening, and so quickly. I keep waiting for someone to snatch it all away from us, but I do not think that is actually going to happen *knock on wood.* I have been knocking on a lot of wood lately - not THAT wood sicko...wait...maybe I am the only sicko around here. So...Jeremy comes home tonight, which is FANTASTIC. Things just aren't as exciting without him.

...gone to the wind...

Ba bere na bere na...my husband is gone...ba bere na bere na...there's a silence hangin' over me...ba bere na bere na...the cat is scratichin' at papers and drivin' me cra-zy oh! I've got the blues...the husband-out-of-town-life-ain't-as-exciting-there-is-no-one-to-sing-funny-songs-to-except-the-cats blues!
Actually...I do miss the fellow tons, but being alone is not so terrible. Things are good. AND he is trying to get us a house which is very good, very good! We were even pre-approved for a mortgage...by a real bank! Can ya believe it? I'm so excited...I want to decorate something sooo bad. Maybe to satisfy my urges, I will decorate pieces of paper tonight with letters of the alphabet and send them to friends. Well...after Buffy!

...obrigada...

Boppin' along 5th avenue with fresh food co-op purchases in my roll-y cart (mmm...kale, baby wild ramps, patty pan squash, avocado...and all organic) when what should overcome me...Portugal! I smelled grilling meat and sardines with a little salt rubbed on them. There was a slight breeze, perfect temperature...sigh...where are those lazy days? Though,these days are not bad...just different.

I also discovered that the woman on the corner a block away from our place who sells the fried meat pockets has ones with just cheese! Yay! I can partake in fried goodness too! And how good it was with a little Tapatio hot sauce sprinkled on. Maybe I should go down to the subway and see if the whole-mango-sliced-up-in-a-zip-lock-bag-with-a-fork people are there. I love street food!!!

...candy wrappers from heaven...

In the wake of some bumblebee dirigibles was the scent of four years of my life. Suddenly every pore was filled with those memories of dusty yarn, late nights, solvents, baggy pants with pockets, stink of 500 students, laying on the lawn, every face being known, small classes, the clang-shush of a loom, the slightly sour earth smell of clay, crazy apartment, passion, tears, fights, and a great time. Who knew I would have found it again on 22nd Street between 9th and 8th in New York City?

...ebay binge...

I formed a very bad habit today, but luckily I have restricted it to today. Right now I have three packages from various ebay seller headed my way. All were cheap (the most expensive being $35 w/shipping) and they should be good...One is a set of 8 National Geographic magazines from 1935, one of which is for June. In the June issue is a picture of my Grandmother as a bridesmaid for a West Point wedding. People actually used to recognize her from it due to her flaming red hair!! Another package contains Pee-Wee Herman trading cards, tatoos, stickers, and masks. Fun! And last but not least is a package of Victorian era (though a fair amount actually is not of that time) papers - maps, books, pamphlets, certificates, ration books, post cards...plus, coins, a letter opener made of bone, sugar tongs and a few other bizarre things. Surprise! That's it for me...at least for now. No more till we have a house!

...all is well...

The weekend was great, and the days I have been back have been that way as well. I got to hang out with Daddad a lot and the rest of my family, sling back $2 margaritas with Jenny, eat lots of Mexican food, talk with a bank about getting pre-approved for a home mortgage, and lots more.

Being back is good. I missed Jeremy a lot! Things are good...plans are known and yet unknown too. I am not very worried about whatever future we have. It's good to have warm weather here, and thunderstorms!, and healthy cats, and...everything.

...happy birthday to you...

Today my Daddad (my Mom's father), Thomas Lyman French,Jr., turns 91. He is the reason I am going back to Kansas City tomorrow for an extended weekend. Now...Daddad is not a perfect man. He has some characteristics I do not agree with, but those certainly do not make up most of who he is. I love him very dearly. When my Mama (his wife) died when I was in fourth grade, he started coming to our house for a visit every afternoon. I have grown very close to him over the years.

Daddad grew up in San Antonio, Texas with his parents and his four siblings : Olive, Claude, Dorothy, and James. All of them have passed away. He had a very accident-filled childhood. For example: he was nearly scalped when he got in a bicycle accident. They took him to the pharmacist who poured peroxide on his skull while sitting at the soda counter. There was also the time his brother was swinging around a box of dirt on a rope (who knows why- it was the 1920s?!) and when their father told him to quit it he just let go and it smacked Daddad in the head. Then one time he was riding on the outside of a Model T, headed to play football with some friends, when the car tipped and fell on top of him. They just erected it, played football, then Daddad got his leg checked out.

His father died about a month before the depression, but luckily left coins in the safety deposit box. My great-grandmother Georgia did people's laundry, Daddad worked, and they took out some coins each month. He worked at an ice-cream factory for awhile, which is appropriate considering he is one of the biggest chocolate fiends I have ever met! I used to open cabinets in his kitchen and find them lined with one-pound Hershey bars! Part of that is he still has a depression mentality (the man saves everything), but mostly it's because he eats unearthly amounts of chocolate! Anyway...Georgia died young as well. My Daddad always gets teary-eyed when he talks about how she had to cut her hair (it was red and when it was down, trailed behind her on the ground!) because it caused too much pain.

So, Daddad moved to Kansas City due to his job and met my Mama, Marjorie Jane Benton. He spotted her having a soda with some friends after a bible class, strolled up, swung one of his long legs over a chair, sitting in it backwards, and said, "Howdy girls, my name is Tex." He asked her out soon after, and thirteen days after their first date, they were engaged. They got married a few months after that. Daddad left to fight in World War II. He was in the military police and saw lots of things in Europe, and met some very interesting people. My mother was born while he was away...he did not see her until she was seven or so months old. When he returned, he worked for the IRS investigating people who wanted to work for the IRS. This is why he is a notorious questioner of everything!

He has never tasted coffee in his life, though he enjoys a nice, cold Coke. He hasn't had a drink since Mama got sick. She, and in turn he, were very social people in their day. Never been a smoker. Has had some fairly major health problems, but is still going. He gets sad that he can't recall things well...he is a story-teller, so it hurts extra. He has traveled the world - Europe, both during the war and later on with Mama, Africa, Mexico, the U.S. They were planning to go to Australia, but then she got sick...There is so much more...

Daddad has instilled in me a love of family- living and past, history, collecting (you should see his stamp collection!), not to be too extravagent and to share what you have, work hard, be educated,and so much more. I realize that this could be his last birthday...that's why I knew I had to fly home. He and I are very close...he told my Mom, "I can't believe she is coming just for me!" He is my last grandparent. They were all so important to me, and I can't bear to think of having to let go again, but I know that's how things go. I don't think he's scared and I am not for him, or for what I will feel. But...this is a celebration of someone who is luckily still here despite all those head traumas at a young age! Here's to you Daddad! (even though he won't read this...he's not into computers) Happy Birthday and I will see you on Saturday. I love you. xoxo

...we have taken over...

Psst!...This is Frank and Bones! We can't believe Stacy forgot to mention our part in this past weekend! She was just focused on her fancy highlighting tricks. Humph! We had a splendid few days with that little human they referred to as Morgan. Finally, someone actually paid close attention to us and played with us endlessly. She discovered our love of the rainbow wand and the octopus-on-a-string immediately. I, Frank, delighted in her presence from the get go, but you know Bones...he takes a bit to warm up to things.
Hey! This is Bones (aka Boney Mahoney, Bones Muldoon, purr-bot, and whatever else they think to call me) Alright, alright...I'm just a little shy. I still had a lot of napping on the box by the heater to get in before I was really interested in Morgan. But she's a great kid. Top notch. We are so bored now that she is gone. She would even move my scratching post to wherever I was! Now, that is service! I mean...don't get me wrong...Stacy and Jeremy are pretty good humans, but it's always in and out, squirting us when we just want to sharpen our claws on their stuff, and not as much play as we require...though they do feed us well, and provide excellent napping opportunities.
Oh! Uh...we gotta go! I hear Stacy coming and we can't let her discover yet we know how to type! Meow!

...success declared...

I entered my apartment building after work on Thursday and was greeted by Zoe, my favorite New York dog, as usual. After a couple good pets, I threw open the door finally able to do what I had been waiting for all day...to see Josh and meet Julie and Morgan! (By the way, Julie taught me how to do that word highlight-y thing within my text! Now you know how totally un-computer saavy I am. Thanks Julie.) We had a great night. Julie and Josh are a very excellent match for each other (aw...cute and nice!) and Morgan instantly endeared herself to me by saying, "I hear you are artsy-fartsy like me!" Jeremy and I even got to sign her coveted Dr. Suess My Book About Me. We drew, had make your own tacos, and then after Morgan was asleep had adult hang-out/talk time. Not the dirty meaning of "adult" okay!


On Friday I had to go to work, but only until two, so they all came to meet me so we could head to the Natural History Museum. I had never been there before, and man...that place is big! We didn't even see half of it, and we saw tons. Jeremy kept harassing Morgan by poking her with an umbrella , so she finally got him back when we were sitting in front of the stuffed penguins. Thus, the umbrella fights began. We went to Guru for dinner, which is where Jer and I had our N.Y. wedding reception last summer. I watched Morgan work on the same spoonful of lentil doughnut in yogurt sauce for about fifteen minutes. She whispered, "It's kind of sour!" Not one complaint though, and she did eat some as well as portions of what Josh and Julie had. We headed home and ended the long day early.


Saturday was the big day, the reason we were all gathered...Joan's birthday celebration! Josh left in the morning to go to New Jersey originally to pick up Rick, though unfortunately he was not able to come, but got to hang out with him instead. We just kicked around the apartment, watching Simpson's episodes, eating breakfast, getting ready, goofing around. I was very mean and kept picking up Morgan and messing with her, trying to get her to wake up and play with me. Finally she did when Julie brought her breakfast. I apologized for bugging her and she said that was okay. Man...she is the most sweet, polite kid! Wait...I know lots of great kids...I'm not going to play favorites! So, Joan's party was a success. Everyone seemed to have a great time. Food was tasty and plentiful, it was beautiful outside, family and friends were gathered, and there were lots of people to meet and lots of folks who had not seen each other in a long time. It was sad when we had to say goodbye to Josh, Julie and Morgan in front of the restaurant. Morgan started crying and it broke Jeremy and I's hearts. Jer and I wished that we could all live in the same town. We miss hanging out with Josh, and now we miss the latest additions to the family. It's nice to think about how it is just a beginning though, and not an ending.
Jeremy and I hopped in a cab with Rachel and Judie to head on to Grandma Bea's. There, we got to relax and watch Joan open her presents! I always love seeing what people pick out for others. Joan seemed very pleased with the whole day. We were happy to be surrounded by so much family! I got to hang out more with Rachel, which is always a good time, and eventually Peter and Joanne, followed closely by Chris and Juhani with their new girlfriends Carlin and Rebecca, showed up. After lots of gabbing, suddenly it was around 8:30! Time raced by on Saturday. We all walked out together, but then Peter and Joanne caught a cab.
So...Chris, Carlin, Juhani, Rebecca, Jeremy and I all headed for Chris's car which was parked a ways away. Lots of laughing and getting to know one another. When we made it to the car, Chris folded up the backseat so that four of us could sit Native-American style (the preferred nomenclature) back there while he and Carlin had the luxurious front seats. It gave me a new perspective on how scary drivers in New York are. We went all the way uptown to where Peter and Joanne live (81st Street!) By the end, Juhani and I were clinging on for dear life and trying not to hurl. (Chris is a very good driver, but was giving us a hard time!) We were very grateful when he let us out, our legs buckling beneath us. We decided not to go up to Peter and Joanne's, but went instead to a good Mexican place around the corner where we had a very delayed dinner and drinks. Mmm...strawberry margaritas...so tasty and alcohol ladden...After many laughs, stories and such Jeremy and I called it a night and found the nearest subway. We made it home around 1:45 am and went to bed almost immediately (We first had to make sure our neighbor Nancy upstairs wasn't dead like we thought she may be, but that is a whole other story!) So, the long day was done. We were tired, happy, and still a little sad, but we had a great weekend. Thanks to all who were involved. Oh...Julie...sorry we never got a Manhattan Special. (I just wanted another excuse to use the highlight-y thing!)

...funny tails...

On Friday Lola and I did our usual perusing of the Union Square Farmer's Market and obtained a couple of chocolate chip cookies. We plopped down on a bench and I, of course, devoured mine pretty quickly. Lola began to throw little bits of her cookie for the birds, which swarmed immediately. I suggested that birds should probably not eat chocolate, but she didn't seem to agree with me. Soon a couple of curious squirrels came over, as well as the mysterious pigeon boy who does not say much but held bread in his hand while the birds landed on him. I couldn't really tell if he was a real person or just some sort of interesting spirit. Anyway...Lola hand-fed a piece of cookie to one of our squirrel friends. Well, he took a liking to it so much that he snuck up a minute later and snatched the remaining half cookie out of Lola's hand and took off! We watched him nibble on it delicately in a flower bed, turning it around and around in his T-Rex style hands. Then he got a good grip on it with his mouth and scurried up the neighboring tree. Lola claimed she didn't like the cookie much anyway. I know she was just thrilled to have such close contact with the animal she has been talking about wanting for a pet for days.

...mythical birds...

Last night we did the most unusual for us...we went to a pub (Peter McManus - or McManus' as it is known to insiders- to be exact) to watch the Jayhawks humiliate Marquette. Adam K. and I got a head start on drinking while waiting for Jer to show up from work. It was a good time. We enjoyed the game, but mainly got caught up in talking, eating simple pub food, and drinking beers and cider. The only drawback was that McManus' reffered to french fries as...da da duh...freedom fries. Sigh. The Jayhawks were...great! Will they win on Monday? Will Roy Williams stay on as coach? Why does Kirk Hinrich look like a Beastie Boy? We shall soon find out...well, probably not about Kirk. Anyway...I'm not even a KU alum (but 3 of my grandparents and both of my parents are) but I must say I have a spot in my heart reserved for KU basketball.

...the beauty of wind rippling through grass...

Jeremy and I went to see Spirited Away this afternoon seeing as how we missed it the first time it was in theaters. Japanese animation (in particular Miyazaki) is delightful! Incredibly beautiful! Makes me want to cry and laugh and sigh! I love it now, and I know I would have loved it as a child.

...smelled any good houses lately?...

As I settled into my seat on the A train this morning, I noticed the smell of boring soup permeating the whole car. I could not tell if it was coming from someone in particular, or if it is just what that section of the train smelled like. It made me think of how everyone's houses have different over-all odors. Many houses are fairly benign, but others are extremely distinct. That always fascinated me as a kid...I can't really describe my Mom's house as it was fairly mellow most of the time, but when she cooked fish...All I know is that I was getting picked up in high school one night by some friends to go to a show at school and I did not escape before she began cooking. It was fairly horrifying. So it goes...that's better than the litter box stench I am marinating in right now! The glories of trash night.

As we emerged from the Carrol Street stop, the train rickety-rackety-ing it's way to Smith and 9th, I discovered that while I had been underground half of the sky was that perfect shade of storm blue that looks even more fantastic with lightning streaking across. It gave me the power to feel as if I had summoned this storm and was in control of the wind. Every third molecule of air had a bite to it. Luckily I had Arizona scarf wrapped around me. I need a bit of the West these days. Torn between directions...why do all the landscapes have to be so good?! So now Jeremy is my hero and buying us tortilla chips and glorious fake cheese sauce so we can have a night of bean dip, avocado, electric cheese, and salad. Plus, he rented a movie! Plus, he is my favorite person to hang out with! It is a good night after a fine, but whatever day.

...you look like a child and smell like a child...

Above...this is what Lola said to me yesterday. Interesting. Is this a good thing? I suppose!

The birds have been chasing each other around (look at the nest I built you...halt! check out my nest!) and everyone here in the city seems a bit happier as well as a little more loopy. I've seen many people with these disturbing, vacant eyes just walking down the street or standing on the subway while doing these bizarre smiles that go in and out. It's not even day-dreamy looking, it's just kind of creepy. Ah well.

...where do you come from?...

Lying on the stairs coming up from the F platform at the 2nd Avenue stop is a small, black button with a piece of thread for a tail. Whose jacket is missing you, or do you come from pants...perhaps a shirt. Will they even notice you are gone? Will someone new pick you up? Maybe I should have, but I was surrounded by people when I noticed you. You remind me of my many clothes that are missing buttons...

...breathe...

Today I am calm. I am centered. I am ready for what the world has to offer on a global level as well as a personal one. Things are better because the weather has turned, it is light when I get off of work, I don't have to wear a coat, and the air (even in New York) smells fantastic!

...we are a peaceful people?!...

Uh, yeah...I must have forgotten how peaceful Americans or any other humans are. Excuse me while I go take a shower to rid myself of all the disgusting things my ears just took in listening to the president speak. I like to believe deep inside my core that humans are good, beautiful beings as are all other creatures...and I do come across things that reinforce this every day, but man...on the other hand..."Humans are a bad animal." This doesn't even come down to an American people issue with me (though I do not agree with many of our leaders) I think all people have that potential to be total hateful, greedy war monkeys. But...we can stop ourselves at any time. It frustrates me how many people there are in the world, how out-of-control this experiment, this life has gotten, but at the same time...that is what happens. "Things fall apart, the center cannot hold..." What do we do? More, more, more. What else can we do? Who is 'right'? What is 'right'? The right certainly doesn't have the answers, and I'm pretty sure the left doesn't have them either. So many differing opinions of what is 'good' and what is 'bad'. Who truly has the authority to say? I don't. Just because you are in a position of power and control does not mean that you do not die at some point like the rest of us. And that is the beauty...the unknown...of what is to happen here in our earthly lives and what happens when that no longer exists. So...what will I do? What will you do? I could really use a hug right now...I think the whole world could. Peace.

...the weekend approacheth...

I absolutely adore Fridays! No one is allowed to be in a bad mood...at least I'm never allowed! I never feel like it. They are somehow always sunnier, put a little more skip in your step. Work should be good...Christine is usually hyper and will jump around with me or play bumper cars with the big roll-y cushions we have (uhh...we only do it on Sundays though!...no boss!) Ron is there and makes you just want to stand around and talk. Rich is usually goofy. Michelle is in a good mood. And Lola is always good on Fridays because if she has all of her stars for the week she gets a small toy! Then, Jeremy is cooking an Indian feast tonight! I finally found a store that sells the onion relish that I ADORE and can endlessly eat. So...bought a container - fresh- bought some nan...have the simmer sauce of a saag persuasion waiting for some veggies and tofu to be added. Have the frozen samosa and the lovely onion relish, tamarind sauce, and mango chutney to be poured liberally on whatever it calls for. Mmmm...then it's printmaking time! Joy. Hope your Fridays are filled with fun people and good food as well.

...music for my eyes...

I bought a book of Michael Ondaatje's (the author who wrote "The English Patient") poetry entitled "The Cinnamon Peeler." What a joy it is to soak in this book! So beautiful. I thought I would share with you one of my favorites so far...

Near Elginburg

3 a.m. on the floor mattress.
In my pyjamas a moth beats frantic
my heart is breaking loose.

I have been dreaming of a man
who places honey on his forehead before sleep
so insects come tempted by liquid
to sip past it into the brain.
In the morning his head contains wings
and the soft skeletons of wasp.

Our suicide into nature.
That man's seduction
so he can beat the itch
against the floor and give in
move among the sad remnants
of those we have destroyed,
the torn code these animals ride to death on.
Grey fly on windowsill
white fish by the dock,
heaved like a slimy bottle into the deep,
to end up as snake
heckled by children and cameras
as he crosses lawns of civilization.

We lie on the floor mattress
lost moths walk on us
waterhole of flesh, want
this humiliation under the moon.
Till in the morning we are surrounded
by dark virtuous ships
sent by the kingdom of the loon.

-Michael Ondaatje

...came to an end, found a new beginning...

I had to say goodbye to Kristen (and Ben-who is very nice) this morning. It was sad...I enjoyed going out and doing stuff with them, but mainly the times we just got to hang out and talk, or make stuff (her knitting me drawing) or dance or cook or tickle. I'm glad she is going to where she is though. She is moving to West Virginia to small-scale farm. Yay!
So, this morning it was lightly raining on my whole journey to work. It was fairly warm out and just a little drizzly. I spent most of my time at the Dia today in the back entering on the web, so I did not know it had stopped till I broke for a roof-top coffee break. By the time I left at two, the day had turned a brilliant shade of sun striking through slightly grey, but mainly bright blue skies. I stuffed my hat, mittens and two scarves in my bag and enjoyed having my head exposed to the air. The weather today made me stand a little taller, walk with a more relaxed gait, and hold my head up - making eye contact and smiling a lot. I also looked up, up, up at the buildings I was walking by. You'd be surprised how much good stuff you can miss if you are always looking down or at eye level. My back and temperment were glad to take a sunny stretch and realize that things are not so wrong. There were lots of good smells on the street as well...lentil soup, laundry room air, honey roasted nuts, a city scrubbed a little more clean by the rains.

...encounters...

What a hectic, odd, strangely beautiful at times week it has been. Things at both jobs were fritzy - mass mail orders + other stuff, kids with flu and double ear infections. Plus I had a few encounters on the street that took me by surprise. One day I was headed to Lola's school and noticed a man walking towards me with two crutches. When we were about ten feet apart he suddenly yells, "Hey, don't step in that!" I instantly freeze, one foot suspended above the sidewalk and do a quick frontal scan, find nothing, so check in back thinking I may have already stepped in it. There is nothing there as well. Right as I realize this he says with a big smile,"Quit thinking so hard! Relax!" I did not say anything and we both kept on walking. About twenty paces afterwards I decided I should have said thanks...or at least smiled. The next day...I was just crossing 10th Ave. on 22nd Street right by the Dia when a man carrying a paper bag walks up saying, "Sock, hats, gloves." Seeing as how I generally ignore people selling things on the street and already was wearing all three of the things he was selling with plenty more at home, I just kept walking. He immediately said, "Alright, f**k n*****s." like that was what I was thinking. That certainly woke me up. Again, I said nothing and kept walking. Part of me wishes I had turned around and said,"Actually I don't need any of those things and it's not because you're African-American and I'm white. It's because I don't need them!!" but the other part just thought that I really don't feel like getting into a debate this early in the morning when all I want to do is get to work, eat my bagel and drink a little joe. Did I do the right thing, who knows, ah well. I wish people would get to know me before they decide who I am. (I was just reading this again and I thought I should add that it's not always other people who do this...I know I have done it myself...what makes us do it, I cannot say) Well...we all have our things.
I saw this dog I have seen before again. This time at the Union Square dog park instead of tied up in front of the Garden of Eden grocery store on 23rd. It's the tough looking black and white, kind of pit-bully or Spud's McKenzie type face, but in this humorously large green and ecru sweater! The first time I saw him I burst out laughing. And there he was again. I love running into the same people or animals throughout my days. I guess it's easy to when you have the same route daily, but often it is not even related to that. Who knew in a city of this size!
So...my dear friend Kristen who I have known since middle school is in a car at this moment, in New Jersey, headed for Brooklyn. She has Ben with her (who we have not met) and they are here for five days or so! Kristen is great. She hasn't been to New York since we went on a theater trip here our senior year. Fun! She's a good gal to travel with. It was her, Heather, and I (or is it me) who went to Australia together. Hmmm...I suppose I should help Jer finish last minute cleaning...

...what i do when i am alone...

Sing to the cats, dishes, computer, whatever I choose to direct my vocals at...watch movies that Jeremy doesn't like or wouldn't watch such as National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, Little Women, Mission Impossible, Steel Magnolias, or any musical...draw, collage, paint, work out ideas...play the piano passionately...toot on my melodica...play solitaire...read for long stretches...walk around town...think of Jeremy (dreamy sigh)...plan menus I would love to prepare for party crowds...clean...look through old photographs and letters...do weird searches on the internet...make lists (I am a list enthusiast)...create mail to send off...

...a true story...

Did I ever tell you the one about the skinwalker I saw? I know I probably have...but here it goes again. We were driving on a single lane highway, twisting through the cold, New Mexico night. Mike was driving, I was the passenger, and Dave was in the back. We were talking about what nights such as that inspire you to. I would periodically gaze out the side window, trying to make out the desert plants stretching on forever. On one of those looks, I saw a flash, though a very clear one, of a very tall creature, almost all black except for a white head. It's arms were so long that they reached the ground. It used them to lope along at an incredible pace - keeping up with the car. This was only maybe ten feet away from our car. I looked away, then back, and it was gone. I rushed to tell the others, but they just thought I was being dramatic, or letting the scenery take my imagination on a ride. When we stopped for the night, I quickly sketched out a little drawing of what I saw...
Months later (that was in March - now we are in September) at school we had a visiting artist who did these performances on stilts, stilts for both her legs and arms. She wore animal print material all over, and the stilts made her lope strangely. I saw her perform in the streets during the Westport Art Fair. I took pictures. It reminded me of what I saw...I told some people the story, but they thought I was strange.
A few more months go by and the pictures are developed. I took them over to my sister's to show her, plus tell her the story. She was wide eyed, then told me she teaches a story of Native American (Navajo I think) origin in which they talk about creatures similar to what I described, called Skinwalkers. Little kids in the Southwest will hear them on the roof-tops trying to get in. Actually, one of her friends who lived in New Mexico saw one too. I felt...relieved that someone believed me and that I had really seen what I had seen. I was also slightly freaked out, but not really.
I don't know what inspired me to write this today. The mood just caught me I guess.

...snow dunes...

Man...I already wrote this semi-lengthy bit on the immense snow fall we had,plus the peace rally on Saturday, but somehow in the process of publishing it, it all got erased. So...I'm not sure if I feel like re-writing it now or not. Here's the un-exciting run-down. Lots of snow. Huge dunes. Very happy...bouncing off walls. Staying indoors, coffee, photographs, buried cars, snow...Peace rally on Saturday - wonderful experience, lots of people, puppets and signs, freezing toes, people united all over the world, police blocking us once we came from 2nd to Lex so Jer could leave, home, hope it works.

Ah well...that's it in cave-man language.

...i'm free...

Singin' a song, la la la, my Mondays are free! Another day to dream, draw, hang out, enjoy leasurely coffee mornings and write. I think I have the most ideal living in New York work schedule now. There is absolutely no reason to be in a bad mood about anything!

"Quilts contain volumes of cultural information about the times in which they were created and the circumstances in which they were used. Each one can tell us about the lives of the people associated with it." - from History from the Heart - E.Duane Elbert & Rachel Kamm Elbert
Tiny voiced Sara and I went to the Whitney on Saturday primarily to view the show on the quilts of Gee's Bend, Alabama. They are great! All the materials are from old clothes, leftover courdoroy scraps from when the women were hired by Sears and Roebuck in the 70s to make pillows, and any scrounged fabric imaginable whether stained or not. I saw one that had pieces from those classic, cheap (i.e. dorm mattresses) blue-striped mattresses! There were even rust traces on it. Beautiful. In the documentary they showed of the women, they would occassionally comment on how their quilts were not like those fancy quilts you see...their's are not perfects squares with elegant top stitching, and store-bought fabrics or even always traditional patterns. I think both kinds are wonderful. Quilts can be anything! Make them however you want!
So...that show was excellent, as was the stuff from the Whitney's permanent collection that was on display. I was surprised every time I rounded a corner. The best part is that working at the Dia we get a card that gets us into any museum (not just art) in all bouroughs for free! Plus we can bring a guest for free too! Woo-hoo! I want to take full advantage of that and I will! I can't believe I have been so lacadasical (spelling?) about getting out-and-about!

So...I have been having a lot of political talks lately, as I am sure many people have been. I am discovering more and more that most people are against what is going on. Even my Mom is...not that she is normally pro-war at all, but most of the time she doesn't really take much of a stance, plus she is a registered Republican and votes as such. She is much more like the old Kansas Republicans though, who actually weren't super-right, plus cared about funding education, etc. I think this is going to be about the only time I address any of this on this site. I like to keep this as a place of the little details in life, and things that are ultimately good (at least for me.) So...in case you are wondering why this is a place that seems to not care about the state of the world, that is why (not that I think anyone who may read this is thinking that.)

Hmmm...I feel like I want to write more, but I'm not sure what about...it's probably best to quit for now. Hoping all is well...

...sweet tooth...

I have been thinking a lot about sweets lately. I had this whole, ambitious plan that for around Valentine's day I was going to make truffles, as well as homemade caramels and Swedish pecans. This, of course, will probably not happen, or at least won't happen within the next week or so as things tend to go with me. I thought, though, that I might share the recipe for Swedish pecans with you, as they are extremely tasty and remind me of my Grandmother. It's actually my Great-Grandma Birdie's recipe (who knows where she got it) but I remember them filling the various candy dishes scattered around my Grandparent's apartment at special times of the year. Here ya go:

4 cups pecan halves in warm 300 degree oven for 10 min.

2 egg whites, 1/8 tsp. salt, 1 cup sugar...beat sugar into whites...add cinnamon and/or vanilla and rum flavoring- 1tsp. each

Mix warm pecans in egg mixture. Separately, melt 1 stick butter. Cover large cookie sheet with half of the butter. Arrange nuts on sheet. Pour remaining butter over.
Bake 30 min. at 300 degrees, turning nuts with a spatula every 10 min. Yum! Yum!

Enjoy...feel free to share yummy recipes with me too! I'm always on the look-out.

...it's nice to see you without your hat on...

The weather outside has been great the last few days. On Saturday, I was walking home from the co-op and the skies were grey, but it wasn't too cold out. The air was really moist, like it should have been at least misting, but it wasn't. Every breath dragged in wet, salty air that coated your throat. I loved it...I started breathing deeper so I wouldn't stop feeling that sensation. Here, I don't normally notice the salt in the air. There were even seagulls on fifth avenue (in Brooklyn)! Every ocean experience came back to me and I just floated in them until I reached home. What a wonderful walk.

Yesterday it was pretty nice out, but I was inside the Dia all day, so it did not matter as much. I was feeling pretty frisky in my new Murakami t-shirt, though, so I had to dance around some and get the wiggles out since I could not be outside.

Today we got to meet Joan (in town for just today) and Judy for lunch in mid-town before I picked up the Lola. It was very pleasant. We ate at a little Italian cafe and enjoyed our brief time together. Outside the weather was...so great you didn't even need a hat. People were out, and actually smiling. Even though it is still cold, there is that hope of Spring...the cold cannot last. Thank heavens for that.

...restless night...

I kept tossing and flopping all night...much of it due to strange dreams. Here is the last one I had before waking up for good.
I was on my Mom's street(in front of the house, but more to the left) and had just run into Lola who wanted to have the stuffed animal I was holding. We were discussing the topic when I see Nancy (our upstairs neighbor in NY) in a very decadent wedding dress walking across the street, headed to my old elementary school, Brookridge, which is right around the corner. She shouts something at me, but I don't quite hear. All this time I am thinking, "She and Rich are getting married?...but we never got an invitation." She leaves her Manolo Blahnik shoes on the corner of 99th and Lowell, and I get the impression that she wants me to bring them when I come to the wedding. I drop the stuffed animal, and run across the street to pick up the shoes, and go to find what is going on. I finally get to the school (which is seriously a short block from my Mom's house) and inside everyone is dressed up, milling about, and I don't see Nancy. I do however see my mother and my sister all prepped for the event. I am in jeans and a t-shirt. Someone tries to hand me a flower petal, but I tell them I'll get one when I come back. I go to my sister and tell her Jeremy and I never got our invitation. She says she is sure we are invited, and talks about how Nancy talked the whole month of April to her about it. I ask if I have enough time to change and she says I have plenty. I run home, but it is that special slow-motion dream running. Finally I make it to my Mom's and run up to my old bedroom. I already knew that I would just throw on the flower dress that I wore to Piper's college graduation. Jeremy wasn't even home yet from the doctor. I reach into the closet, pull out the dress, turn around, then look down as I am taking my clothes off and see that I already had on a white eyelet dress. I take it off and am turning the dress around because it was inside-out, when Jeremy comes home. I tell him what's going on and he gets wide eyed. A few seconds later he appears almost fully dressed, while I am pulling my dress on still! I also realize that the flower dress turned into a velvety number that I have never seen, but is beautiful. While I am pulling it on, he tells me about his doctor's visit (which I will not go into details here, because it is too strange) Then I woke up...

...how it is...

Salt scars run along the sidewalks like seams to some huge, unknown sewing project. It also seems that as quickly as dogs can let it come out, what does instantly freezes to the asphalt. Halos of this seasons past eliminations are everywhere you can look. It is hard to escape much of anything here. I keep dreaming of those steaming, summer-y, so-hot-it's-painful sidewalks that are coming up in the future. The city starts to sweat and all the smells come out intensified by the dense air. Sigh. I'm already at that point in the winter where I need sunlight warming my naked arms, sweat slowly rolling down my side, and a good porch where I can watch the world go by, then dive in. This usually does not come until February...
Hoping all of you are able to stay inside under blankets, with warm drinks and a nice companion (person, book, pet, or otherwise)...but if not, that you can think warm thoughts while walking those bitter sidewalks. love.

...snow day...

I wish that the few inches of snow on the ground would render the city useless and make it so I wasn't able to go to work. Snow day! It's been so long since the days of school snow days. We even got them a couple times in college...of course, they told us once we were halfway through the day anyway, so it wasn't as satisfactory. Most of us decided to stay in studio anyway. At least today is a go-home-early day. I do not have to pick up Miss Lola. I get to come home and...do laundry! Woo-hoo! Friday's are sizzlin'!


...the little things...

the day where there were hundreds of oil rainbows in the street, running into someone familiar on the train, how frank always has kitty kisses for you, unexpected mail from friends, coming home to find my husband walking towards me with a big glass of juice and dinner on its way, looking through sara's cedar chest, having the big, blind dog run into me on the street and apologizing to it, being comforted by the fact that the weeds are growing up through the tracks at the smith and 9th stop, watching a shadow bird walk the length of a rusty i-beam, the beauty of viewing a plane glistening in the morning sunlight through the industrial structure of our subway station, being privy to secrets (positive ones) and i'm not even going to tell you, the joy of hot cocoa in a tiny cup...

...so many words, so little time...

I have not felt like writing recently, because I have been absolutely glued to other activities. Jeremy even has a hard time pulling me away from my books and drawing. It feels good though. There is generally a bone biting cold outside, so I try not to go unless I must. Today, I must brave it to pick up the little mama, but then I get to meet Corrie, Christine, and Jeremy for my first Ethiopian feast! Yummmm...well, I hope...I don't know what it will taste like yet! So...life is pretty good. Jeremy is making blintzes and coffee for breaklunch as I write, the roaches are on retreat from our apartment, we are healthy, Jeremy is making business contacts, I am surrounded by things that need my attention, we have been cooking a lot, etc. Yes...

...it is not acceptable for a mermaid to turn into a panda...

My hands are itching to work out some ideas. Why have I kept myself from drawing for so long?! I guess I doodle some. Anyway...Piper and Nick gave me a great blank book for Christmas, so I believe that tomorrow, or possibly this evening, I shall start filling it with things I like to look at whether it be other people's visuals, my own, or writing. Very exciting. I'll have to pull myself away from my new books though. With my gift card bonus from work I purchased Fast Food Nation and Gangs of New York in person, and am reading them simultaneously. Excellent. I finished out the card last night on-line with The Grey Lady and the Strawberry Snatcher, The Secret Art of Dr. Seuss, and the latest Dead Prez CD. I've seen two new movies within the last week: Gangs of New York and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Gangs was great. I am absolutely fascinated with that period in time. Very violent movie, but great. I am a total nerd who now wants to go find where the five-points neighborhood used to be. Harry Potter was good as well. Maybe a little scary for kids, but probably not. I was into crazy, mythic beasties at a young age, as well as low-grade horror films, and look...I'm normal...hmmm. You know what I miss? Crows. I don't think the city has much visible besides pigeons and sparrows. Sadly in K.C. they have so many crows that they place poison on top of buildings for them to ingest. That's bad news bears. I love large birds. We had a badge in Campfire called the Thunderbird. I think you had to stand out in the rain for 20 minutes or something to earn it (that's a very bizarre thing to have to do to earn a badge) Anyway, I hoped more than anything that I would see an actual thunderbird someday. Why am I never the person who sees the things I always read about starting in fourth grade from those books on the supernatural/myths/strange natural things shelf in the library at school? I guess I should not complain...I have experienced some very "strange" (though they didn't feel wrong) things with energy and such. Uh-oh...I'm getting all space-y on ya. Yeah, so no crows here. Maybe if I set out some shiny things they will come...