...skeletons in my closet (actually they're on my front door)...

The day of all days is here! My eyes keep getting drawn back to the large bowl of candy I fixed up this morning - junior mints, shock tarts, reece's peanut butter cups, milk duds, gumballs...drool...Must take my mind off of sweet, sweet candy...must not become diabetic...

So instead I am focusing on sounds today. The tornado siren-like squeal of the dryer, the rustle of embroidery thread repeatedly being pulled through linen, pops of old wood floors, the wet hiss of the coffee pot, and the giant BOOM of a transformer blowing this morning that tore me from my dream world. The power was only gone an hour or so.

Tonight we do the dance of passing out candy to kids. Jeremy and I discussed the various approaches to doing this, and I believe my way won out - mainly because I say so. He thinks the kids should be allowed to take their own candy from the bowl. While I remember this being a wonderful thing when I was a kid, now I can only see little, sticky fingers shoveling as much candy as they can into their bag. I'm for passing out one or two pieces per kid, and I get to randomly decide what those pieces shall be. You can trade up later kid...I'm not taking requests. Jeremy thinks this is another attempt of mine to take kids down a notch. Hey...I just want to make sure everyone gets a piece of the pie...er...I mean candy.

...stranded at the drive-in...

We tossed an armload of blankets and pillows in the car, and took off Saturday night to meet Christine, Evan, Liz, and Hillary for a double-feature at the drive-in. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is very frightening when viewed in your own car, surrounded by night, and having to go to the bathroom, but not wanting to go anywhere by yourself after that flick. We survived though. I pulled the blanket up over my eyes a couple of times...of course it is a loosely crocheted blanket, so I could still see anyway. Kill Bill Vol. 1 was the next movie. Very good again, but quite violent. I love the way Tarantino matches up music to what is happening in the film.

Sunday... I don't know what I did to deserve this, but Jer made french toast and fake bacon for our very late breakfast. Yummmm. Then we just lazed around with the various visitors that called on us, until Jer had to go to work. Fantastic.

...till next year...

The party is over. At least, the birthday party, not the party that is everyday of my life! (ha.) A quarter of a century does not feel that different than last year, at least so far. We'll see what is in store for this one...

The sun is still shining, and the leaves are still breaking delicately beneath my feet. Halloween is not far away, and thankfully we have not eaten all of the candy...well...I had to buy another bag or two that we haven't opened, but we never finished off the original one! My head is overflowing with things I want to work on in studio, strangers are calling Jer to have their pianos tuned, and the cats are still rearranging the rugs every night.

...what's goin' on...

A cold rain is falling outside, and the sun is almost gone for the day. Jeremy is already at work for the night. I am currently reading "My Invented Country" by Isabel Allende and "Stupid White Men" by Michael Moore. This morning I started my "Sweatin' to the Oldies" workout. Richard Simmons is pretty fun. I've been working on art and cleaning the house. my birthday is tuesday shhhh...Tonight I am going to watch Friends and ER. Tomorrow I am going to make Morrocan carrot spread, onion dip, and hummus for an upcoming shin-dig. I have begun to master medium-level spider solitaire. I need to write some letters.

...who knew...

I dropped my car off this morning for an oil change, etc., and, thankfully, had to walk home. It's only about a ten-minute walk, but in that time I learned lots about Gregory (the street) that I had never known just driving on it.
A few trees have some bluish-white mossy spots on them. They come right after the tree that has seaweed-like pods hanging from it. I am not sure if these have the same delicious sounding/feeling pop-hiss to them as the seaweed does, but they looked like it. There was also a stretch of trees that not only has regular, dark green leaves on it, but light green ones curled down like little tongues waiting to lick those who walk under it's branches. The tongues cradled some sort of berry, most likely not edible.
I think in our neighborhood that the plants are ready to take over. If only people would leave them alone! The sidewalks are already severely buckled in some parts, with plants sneaking their way out of every crevice. Lots of people have ivy creeping up their houses or fully engulfing their chimneys. If we all disappeared, it would not take very long for the ferns, trees, flowers, ivy, all of them, to claim everything as their own. They silently pass the time...waiting for the long moments of their uprising...lucky plants...

...heavy whipping cream...

Now you can witness how truly flip-floppy I am...going from serious thought to...

I just wandered downstairs for a brief interlude and found Bones, our resident heat monkey, sitting in front of the air vent in the dining room, lapping up the waves of warm air.

I'm seriously considering heating up a sticky bun my mother bought for me even though it is practically midnight.

Conan is coming on t.v. (that sounds a bit crude...sorry) and I find him highly amusing...in fact so much that I am going to say, goodnight.

...how does this happen...

Do you ever zoom out from your life and realize how ridiculous so many things are with it, and with the world in general? Here I am...I own a house with my best friend and partner, I currently have no income because my husband is making money and I am a semi-privelaged person, I have lots of things...in fact I have so many that I get rid of tons of clothing, paper, whatever each year, I never miss a meal unless I choose to, I have never had an act of physical violence done against me, I went to college - to art shcool none the less, I have traveled all over the place...
I am so lucky. How did I get this place in the scheme of things, yet other people have none of what I do? Did I do something really good in a past life, or am I destined to do not as well in the next one? Does God or whatever there is just like some people better for no good reason? And why am I not doing more with what I have to help those who have not?...is it even "better" to be the one who has?...what is the perfect existence, when you have what you need - food, shelter, love, good health, a whole range of emotions - and not too many things to bog you down - jobs, obligations, guilt, wants, and you know of no one else who needs anything? Does that exist?
I have had times throughout my life so far where I fight harder than usual for basic rights for all, for justice, for universal happiness, for something - anything...then...life sucks me back in and it is easy to forget other people. I walk down the street with a veil. We think it is so horrible that Muslim women are forced to fully cover in public, but we are a society that is still covered ourselves, and we like it! You just can't see ours and it is self-imposed.
It's so easy to sit here - in my jeans, t-shirt, and cowboy boots - and type on my computer, and drink my fresh water, and expound upon what is wrong with the world. What are my solutions? This is the toughy...I don't know. I guess I will try to be a good person and not use too much of anything, though that's easier said than done for the lifestyle we have become accustomed to. I will raise any children I have to please, please, please question things, and want to drink up any books, magazines, newspapers, people, dances, songs, art, animals, vistas, whatever that they come across, and to help, and love, and do something as long as they fully embrace it and believe in it. I will do what I can before I burn (not in Hell, I don't believe in it...in actual flames...I want to be cremated) and try not to feel too guilty for what I cannot do. That is very hard.
For now...universe...ever expanding (or is it actually shrinking?)...I love you, whatever happens, whether you take it all away or give me more (I really don't need more)...thank you for it all...please give other people breaks...please do something to equalize us all - or is that for us to figure out?