...smell my feet...

Yay for Halloween! I've got the decals up(ghosts and pumpkins, bats and cats) to let the kiddies know we are friendly, and I've got a bowl full of candy(kit kats, skittles, and hershey miniatures). I'm also sporting a black turtle neck (I'm going as a New Yorker...just kidding) with the skeleton stickers around the collar (just like my Grandma!) No costume this year. I'm not very creative lately...I will go through a run-down of things I have been in previous years - in no particular order - a princess, carebear, punk rocker(second grade!) , sleepy-time girl (I just wore pajamas), aerobics instructor, gypsy, giant tea bag, voodoo doll...I know there have been more, but my memory is obviously blocking them for some reason. Let me know what you are for Halloween, what you handed out, what you received, etc...all the gory details! Happy Halloween!

...wishing i could see you...

I really want to run into people I know on the streets here. I'm not sure why. I keep getting the vibe like I am going to. Actually it already happened a bit. I've had two KCAI buddies come into the Dia by chance and run into me working! Jesse and John! It's fun. I've just been thinking a lot about people who occupy my past more than my present and maybe even future. I love where I am as a person right now, and I take nothing back...I just miss some of the way things used to happen. I like to remember...late nights at Jenny's house, sitting around the kitchen table, or doing crazy stuff...taking late night walks or drives with friends...hanging out at Tony's apartment with him and Mandylan and others...fun nights with Maralie and also Eli and Tim...dressing up to go to the grocery store or wherever...staying up all night talking with Mike A...late nights in studio, and also just studio in general...getting letters from Sarah and Julie, and an occassional visit...etc. There is so much more...I really do not like letting people slowly slip from my life. You stop one day and realize where have they gone? New people have moved in, but create their own space - never taking over where someone else used to stand. Alright, this is making me too wistful...

...memory of the day...

The image of driving down that lonely Arizona road and looking over to see dusty, cracked cowboy boots coverin' every fence post for a good mile or two, keeps playing like a bouncy 16mm reel in my head. Here's to hopin' they still populate that stretch of road.

...hidden moments...

The other night, around nine o'clock, I was walking down ninth street in our neighborhood. It was chilly, so I was trying to move fast, plus look slightly tough in case anyone wanted to mess with me. Then I noticed an older man standing in his little front cement garden space that we have here, except he wasn't just standing...he was doing tai chi! It was so beautiful. He was aligning himself with this crazy town! You have to be creative about finding your own space here to be quiet and relax.


...L-O-L-A LOLA...

Lola says some awfully funny things to me in our travels. Jeremy got to experience them recently, because he came to work with me on Monday. Here are some examples: We were on the bus, and she was sitting on her silly putty egg pretending to be a Mama bird when suddenly she yells, cracking up while saying it, " The egg rolled under my VAGINA!" She's very into talk like that (she's four) We were talking to a man in the park who had a dog, and he was asking Lo about her dog...she was just telling him whatever, but then declared that her dog has a penis that he licks! Well...it's true! She also stated the other day while waiting for the bus,"Where's the damn bus!" I said, "Lo-la..." and she very calmly explained to me that it's okay because some people say that sometimes...true again, I could not argue. One last thing...she sings perfectly the song Lola AND The Velvet Underground song I'm Sticking With You (which is one that Jer and I sing together) Her parents have great taste in music.

...the streets of new york...

Yesterday was a particularly smelly day here in good 'ol NY. I'm not sure why exactly, but I smelled a much wider variety of fragrances than I normally do. On the subway was some man who had the odor of that cherry-flavored putty stuff they use to make dental molds. Wonder what he does at home! I think I also caught traces of Rodenticide in the air. On the street was the normal multiple types of exhaust, food smells (baked goods, honey-roasted nuts, burning soft pretzels...) as well as leaves burning somewhere. Isn't that pretty much illegal everywhere, but so many people do it! I also took in a snort full of someone smoking a joint on my way into work. That's another constant smell on the streets here! Other scents encountered during the day: dust, magic markers, movie theater, candles, and human waste to name a few. Lovely! The sniffer is on the prowl!

...you say it's your birthday...

Normally I don't inform people it's my birthday...well, except those who already have it ingrained in their head, then I make them celebrate me for the month of October! Ha. So, on October 21,1978 at 2:16 am (Eastern Time) I was born in Fairfax, Virginia. My sister asked my Mama and Daddad (my Mom's parents) who were in town for the event if I was black or white. She was only four and thought you just get whatever! I love that! Jeremy, of course, thinks she knew something about what my Mom had been up to on the side. My Mom was not up to anything to set the record straight. In my first moments captured on film, I look exactly like my Dad...a large, round, bright red head, and a confused/befuddled look on my face. I still have the huge head as my sister and others like to lovingly point out! So...yay for my parents for copulating, and for the month of October, and for being a Libra, and for all my fun friends and family!

...morning...

Good-morning campers! I love Saturday, because I don't work!!! I still get up relatively early though. It's nice having quiet morning time to myself. I love Jeremy tons, but it is enjoyable to see him asleep in our warm bed, and to have time to read and write. This morning I am sitting in pajama bottoms stolen from my husband and my old Theater for Young America t-shirt. Earlier I was looking at some old zines...good 'ol friends. The cats are actually sleeping. I'm getting ready to make breakfast and coffee. It's going to be a good day. Hoping yours is too!

...weather report...

Jeremy told me I talk a lot about weather in my blog. Yeah. I love weather so much. I constantly complain about it (a couple weeks into real winter, "It's so cold! God, where oh where is summer!" ... a couple weeks into real summer, "I wish it would get chilly so I could wear my winter clothes! I'm so hot!"), but I love all kinds. They are predicting a real doozy of a storm for tomorrow. In some ways, woo-hoo!, I love a good rip roarin' storm (hope it's like the mid-west variety.) In other ways...man, I have to walk in that...a lot...with a kid part of the time...and no super hardy shoes...(softly)damn. Weather is very tied in with my memories, just like smell. You know what, just the other day I was wishing there existed a perfume that smelled exactly like that fresh outdoors electricity right before a crazy storm smell. That is my kind of perfume! Also, desert in various stages of bloom perfume would be nice. Okay, I am a total nerd...pay no attention to me! ;)

...brewin'...

Things I came in contact with today: a scritchy-on-papers-early- in-the-morning cat, a blaring alarm clock that was starting to lose the battle, a washcloth, the same outfit I wore yesterday because it's so damn comfy (a new sweater!), a bowl of yogurt with grapenuts and fruit, some zines, a toothbrush, a goodbye snuggle, our neighbor Nancy on the way to the subway - all the way to Jay Street, a large cup of coffee, a chilly yet pleasant walk, an empty office, mail orders, emails, my boss and her son Otto, chocolates she brought from Frankfurt, entering books, a peanut butter/jelly sandwhich on the go, a very happy Lola, the various folks we chat with on the bus, a stop at the dog park in Union Square, a Curious George reading, Lola's mom, the subway home - daydreaming, an encounter with my landlord - grrr, a half-hour with my husband (uh, not with with okay? :) some re-heated added to Chinese food, t.v., cat snuggles inter-mingled with scritchy on books, more t.v. (Buffy was on), weird voices when I tried to log-on (I swear I am sane), internet browsing, blog-writing, on to...seeing Jeremy soon, chit-chatting, flannel sheets, glorious sleep...repeat.

...mmm...pie...

Today is a day for baking cheddar cheese buttermilk biscuits and apple pie. I have been looking forward to this for days. Is that sad? I just don't often have time to bake and I love it. I have never attempted these particular items either, so it is an adventure.

Last night we went and saw some bands with old Kansas folks (people Jer knows from KU) in them who now live here. It was really fun. I got to meet a lot of new people and they were all very nice. The music was also great, in particular Brian and Laura's band - Dust Dive I think the name is. It was very...I can't explain it any other way than it made me homesick, happy, want to cry, etc. Laura plays violin in it some...great! It was a long night.

Yesterday I complained for the first part of the day about having to walk in the rain so much. Then, on my way to pick up Lola - it was steadily pouring as it did all day - I passed by a homeless man in a doorway, curled up sleeping and absolutely soaked. I realised that I may be uncomfortable for a few hours, but at least I know I have somewhere to head home and dry up. Man...those pants of his are never going to dry in this weather.
Lola was actually fantastic yesterday. We had no complaining or crying or anything. We went to the Barnes and Noble in Union Square to read until it was time to meet her Mom at Eli's daycare. We just read a ton of books and she was very in to being mellow. No complaints even about rain! I was so happy and grateful.

Jeremy got to talk to Erin from Colorado yesterday on the phone while I was at work. She's really great. She and Joey came for a visit a couple months ago...it was good times. Anyway, love to you Erin if you're out there - I will talk with you soon.

We are going to visit Rick soon. We are very happy Rick is alive and doing well. I know he's out there - so lots of love to you.

Joan and Rachel bought a place in England! (Well, Rachel didn't buy it really) It sounds nice, and they even get all the furnishings! Everyone is excited for them and suddenly trying to arrange trips to England :) So yay!

That's it for now. I've got to go prep the kitchen. Enjoy your days.

...casual friday...

Yay! It's Friday! Usually that is not always cause for celebration considering I do not really have a weekend away from work, BUT...this week I do not have to work Sunday or Monday! Today though, I have to stay with Lola until five. It's rainy out and I'm sure she will not be thrilled to see me. She has gotten it in her head that I am very mean and bad and she likes to inform me of that...frequently. Yeah, I sure am the devil for buying her chocolate milk, reading stories to her, and never yelling. I know she's just four...I also know my future kids will probably do similar stuff, so why do I put up with it from a kid who is not even mine?! Grrr. What's frustrating is that she is lots of fun when she is happy. Okay, enough of work! Work be gone!!!
It's chilly, and rainy, and such a great day for cuddling with your husband under a quilt and laughing. That's where I will be mentally all day. I am going to stay in the space of warmth and hot beverages and good books and kisses and cats. In reality I'll be patrolling the streets, on the lookout for smiles. Tough assignment on a day such as today.

...the fall tickles...

It's pretty chilly out, and I am so glad due to the fact that I can now wear sweaters and long-sleeves. Some of my favorite clothes are fallish/wintery ones. What should I wear today...

Our neighbors with the fantastic garden finally picked their HUGE squash that was hanging off this rope thing they had suspended. Recently, I had been secretly hoping that it would fall on it's own before they could pick it. That's mean, but it would have been strangely satisfying to see that much destroyed squash on the ground. I am glad they were able to pick it though.

I need to calm down some. Fall is in my bones and making me wild. I don't mean to be that way, and I don't like to be upset or mean. My apologies to anyone who has come into contact with that part of me recently. I shouldn't even blame it on fall...fall is the best...maybe I can blame it on Mercury! :) Someone told me recently that it was in retrograde(?) I think that's the right one, and that it was righting itself soon. In it's wake in my life it has left broken internet and credit card machines at work (oh, madness,) getting upset about inane things, getting very defensive, stressed, tired, etc. Yeah...blame it on Mercury...that's the ticket.

I watched Bones catch an incredibly speedy moth last night while Jeremy was on the phone with Joan. On one hand, I am glad he got his little hunt and was able to devour it as well. He is quite quick with the claws. On the other hand, I love moths. I think they are really pretty and twitchy. I love how twitchy they are! Oh well, the cycle of life continues.

So, reaching out to you, hoping you and yours are well. My thoughts are with you a lot, I can guarantee. Wishing we could all be next door neighbors...well...maybe some of you should be on the next block over. ;) Just kidding. Enjoy October - Libras rock (I'm biased.) Get Halloween candy even if you don't get trick-or-treaters (more for you!) Take care. love

...'round the campfire...

Last night, Jeremy met Corrie and I at our place of business so we could all go out to dinner. So...we did that! Then Corrie came home with us and she treated our ears with some music she is going to record for fun. She strummed the guitar and sang, while Jeremy accompanied her on the mandolin. After awhile, I joined in singing when they just started playing random songs. I like to harmonize. It was so much fun! I love having live music in the house. I think it is so important to sing, play musical instruments, and dance. It can really lift your spirits.
You know what? I've been purchasing really fun postcards lately. I hope to actually fill them out and send them on their way to new homes soon. Of course soon probably means Thanksgiving...I have found some great stores just on my daily walks that sell amazing postcards. Maybe one will come your way...whoever is out there. Speaking of walking, Jeremy did the math and discovered that Tuesday through Friday I walk at least 3.5 miles, and the other days, probably only a mile or two. So how come my tummy isn't shrinking!? Oh yeah, I like food. Actually, I do feel healthier in some ways. Walking is so fantastic. So many dogs, a crazy-quilt of people, endless asphalt, hole-in-the-wall stores, unpredictable weather...
Yeah, so get out there and walk around some. Oh, and you can send me postcards too if you want.*wink, blush*