...restless night...

I kept tossing and flopping all night...much of it due to strange dreams. Here is the last one I had before waking up for good.
I was on my Mom's street(in front of the house, but more to the left) and had just run into Lola who wanted to have the stuffed animal I was holding. We were discussing the topic when I see Nancy (our upstairs neighbor in NY) in a very decadent wedding dress walking across the street, headed to my old elementary school, Brookridge, which is right around the corner. She shouts something at me, but I don't quite hear. All this time I am thinking, "She and Rich are getting married?...but we never got an invitation." She leaves her Manolo Blahnik shoes on the corner of 99th and Lowell, and I get the impression that she wants me to bring them when I come to the wedding. I drop the stuffed animal, and run across the street to pick up the shoes, and go to find what is going on. I finally get to the school (which is seriously a short block from my Mom's house) and inside everyone is dressed up, milling about, and I don't see Nancy. I do however see my mother and my sister all prepped for the event. I am in jeans and a t-shirt. Someone tries to hand me a flower petal, but I tell them I'll get one when I come back. I go to my sister and tell her Jeremy and I never got our invitation. She says she is sure we are invited, and talks about how Nancy talked the whole month of April to her about it. I ask if I have enough time to change and she says I have plenty. I run home, but it is that special slow-motion dream running. Finally I make it to my Mom's and run up to my old bedroom. I already knew that I would just throw on the flower dress that I wore to Piper's college graduation. Jeremy wasn't even home yet from the doctor. I reach into the closet, pull out the dress, turn around, then look down as I am taking my clothes off and see that I already had on a white eyelet dress. I take it off and am turning the dress around because it was inside-out, when Jeremy comes home. I tell him what's going on and he gets wide eyed. A few seconds later he appears almost fully dressed, while I am pulling my dress on still! I also realize that the flower dress turned into a velvety number that I have never seen, but is beautiful. While I am pulling it on, he tells me about his doctor's visit (which I will not go into details here, because it is too strange) Then I woke up...

...how it is...

Salt scars run along the sidewalks like seams to some huge, unknown sewing project. It also seems that as quickly as dogs can let it come out, what does instantly freezes to the asphalt. Halos of this seasons past eliminations are everywhere you can look. It is hard to escape much of anything here. I keep dreaming of those steaming, summer-y, so-hot-it's-painful sidewalks that are coming up in the future. The city starts to sweat and all the smells come out intensified by the dense air. Sigh. I'm already at that point in the winter where I need sunlight warming my naked arms, sweat slowly rolling down my side, and a good porch where I can watch the world go by, then dive in. This usually does not come until February...
Hoping all of you are able to stay inside under blankets, with warm drinks and a nice companion (person, book, pet, or otherwise)...but if not, that you can think warm thoughts while walking those bitter sidewalks. love.

...snow day...

I wish that the few inches of snow on the ground would render the city useless and make it so I wasn't able to go to work. Snow day! It's been so long since the days of school snow days. We even got them a couple times in college...of course, they told us once we were halfway through the day anyway, so it wasn't as satisfactory. Most of us decided to stay in studio anyway. At least today is a go-home-early day. I do not have to pick up Miss Lola. I get to come home and...do laundry! Woo-hoo! Friday's are sizzlin'!


...the little things...

the day where there were hundreds of oil rainbows in the street, running into someone familiar on the train, how frank always has kitty kisses for you, unexpected mail from friends, coming home to find my husband walking towards me with a big glass of juice and dinner on its way, looking through sara's cedar chest, having the big, blind dog run into me on the street and apologizing to it, being comforted by the fact that the weeds are growing up through the tracks at the smith and 9th stop, watching a shadow bird walk the length of a rusty i-beam, the beauty of viewing a plane glistening in the morning sunlight through the industrial structure of our subway station, being privy to secrets (positive ones) and i'm not even going to tell you, the joy of hot cocoa in a tiny cup...

...so many words, so little time...

I have not felt like writing recently, because I have been absolutely glued to other activities. Jeremy even has a hard time pulling me away from my books and drawing. It feels good though. There is generally a bone biting cold outside, so I try not to go unless I must. Today, I must brave it to pick up the little mama, but then I get to meet Corrie, Christine, and Jeremy for my first Ethiopian feast! Yummmm...well, I hope...I don't know what it will taste like yet! So...life is pretty good. Jeremy is making blintzes and coffee for breaklunch as I write, the roaches are on retreat from our apartment, we are healthy, Jeremy is making business contacts, I am surrounded by things that need my attention, we have been cooking a lot, etc. Yes...

...it is not acceptable for a mermaid to turn into a panda...

My hands are itching to work out some ideas. Why have I kept myself from drawing for so long?! I guess I doodle some. Anyway...Piper and Nick gave me a great blank book for Christmas, so I believe that tomorrow, or possibly this evening, I shall start filling it with things I like to look at whether it be other people's visuals, my own, or writing. Very exciting. I'll have to pull myself away from my new books though. With my gift card bonus from work I purchased Fast Food Nation and Gangs of New York in person, and am reading them simultaneously. Excellent. I finished out the card last night on-line with The Grey Lady and the Strawberry Snatcher, The Secret Art of Dr. Seuss, and the latest Dead Prez CD. I've seen two new movies within the last week: Gangs of New York and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Gangs was great. I am absolutely fascinated with that period in time. Very violent movie, but great. I am a total nerd who now wants to go find where the five-points neighborhood used to be. Harry Potter was good as well. Maybe a little scary for kids, but probably not. I was into crazy, mythic beasties at a young age, as well as low-grade horror films, and look...I'm normal...hmmm. You know what I miss? Crows. I don't think the city has much visible besides pigeons and sparrows. Sadly in K.C. they have so many crows that they place poison on top of buildings for them to ingest. That's bad news bears. I love large birds. We had a badge in Campfire called the Thunderbird. I think you had to stand out in the rain for 20 minutes or something to earn it (that's a very bizarre thing to have to do to earn a badge) Anyway, I hoped more than anything that I would see an actual thunderbird someday. Why am I never the person who sees the things I always read about starting in fourth grade from those books on the supernatural/myths/strange natural things shelf in the library at school? I guess I should not complain...I have experienced some very "strange" (though they didn't feel wrong) things with energy and such. Uh-oh...I'm getting all space-y on ya. Yeah, so no crows here. Maybe if I set out some shiny things they will come...